Jordan’s “Depressing Posts” #4 – Teacher

Welcome to the final part of “Depressing Posts” in which I talk about career paths that just can’t happen for me.


Fun fact – before I got a degree in Cinema & Television (obviously, the degree worked well so far), my degree was going to be in Education. I was going to be a teacher, because I felt I was smart enough, it was “more stable” than anything else, and plus – I would be shaking things up.

However, during college. I went to a couple elementary schools. While my favorites were 4th and 5th Grade (Kids soak up information, tell some amazing jokes, and are just super awesome at that age). I couldn’t handle a few things… for starters, ALL teachers must teach of the criteria set by the school district (and the state board)


3rd Grade Math- Students Must Understand The Multiplication Tables (Zero-12)
– Students Must Calculate Area and Diameter of Rectangles and Squares
– Students Must Understand Fractions

Now it seems like an alright thing, because I mean you have to have a “set” to prepare for the next grade…. BUT what that means is that you are teaching straight from the books – skipping chapters deemed “unnecessary”. (Yeah, we can skip the Civil War, that’s for 4th Grade)

And the more you skip and skip, the more you expect the “next grade” teacher to explain it… and more than likely they don’t… and then the next grade… and then the next grade.

Funny enough for me, one of my favorite books as a kid was The World Almanac for Kids, and it was there I found out a Googol was 100 zeroes, and that Grover Cleveland was the only president to have two non-consecutive presidencies. Things that would later end up being trivia questions on quiz shows, but never asked in schools… BECAUSE WE JUST NEED TO KNOW THAT HARRISBURG IS THE CAPITAL OF PENNSYLVANIA, AND NOT PHILADELPHIA.

Teachers have to teach based on what the school district gives them, and then let’s not forget that they have pretty low wages, and most of the time, anything “fun” or “exciting” (such as a computer, new books, or field trips) are all out-of-pocket by either the teachers themselves, or by donations by parents.

They are seriously not thanked nearly enough, and I know for a fact, if I continued… and even had my own class of 4th/5th graders – I would probably HATE having to say and do things because that’s what the school forced me to do. I don’t live inside anyone’s box. If I want to teach kids fractions with Hershey Chocolate Bars, I WILL! Screw the “you are giving kids sugar, and that’s against the rules”… ITS A GOOD TEACHING AID! (It does work, I did have a short-stint tutoring kids in math… IT WORKS)

If I wanted to show kids about Jack-O-Lanterns and make some crafts during the Holidays, I should… even though it has zero to do with Betsy Ross making the American Flag and cuts away from valuable reading of “The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales”…

Let’s not forget – if this is Kindergarten through 3rd Grade, kids get away with more things, because they don’t know any better. And Parent-Teacher Meetings in which “My kid does nothing wrong”, even if you tell them, they haven’t done their homework.

or maybe throw in Middle School – when I will get to teach based off different areas – Math & Science? English and Social Studies? PE and… PE? I have nothing, I could probably say technology is a strong suit, but more than likely – it’ll just be kids going to YouTube to watch PewDiePie LetsPlays or trying to get around the blockers to get to their facebook page.

and no way in hell, would I like High School. It’s too “Dramatic”, and students BARELY care to be there. It’s almost “a chore” to be there, and the only reason they go is because they want to be “social”, and as a guy who was more or less an outcast/loner type – i just went to discover fun stuff, and that was about it.

What I got of Elementary School was the sense of wonder and question everything.
What I got of Middle School was a sense of developing your own rules (and self-discipline)
What I got of High School was four years of hell, nobody to really care about you, but an understanding that you are really alone.

And then in college, well… that was just be paying a few thousand dollars to tweet about my life, which I still do after graduating…

I don’t play by the rules of the school, I do things my way… so while I am thankful I didn’t get an education degree… I just stare at my degree and go “was it any better?”

Because, I am nowhere…

I don’t have a career that is in anything that interests me.

I don’t have a job that makes me happy.

And I don’t have anything even in the realm of something that I worked towards.

And the more I look at “what I should do”…
And the more I look at “what I could do”…
And the more people tell me “I could see you as…”

The more I destroy those chances, or have a fear that “I can’t”.

I can’t be a comedian… because I don’t have “that persona”
I can’t be a game show host… because I burned bridges
I can’t be a writer… because I put no effort into anything I write
I can’t be a teacher… because I don’t like being pushed around.

Eventually, I will find something that interests me to the point of “it’s something I do”, but until then. I will just talk it out in my head, all these ideas that will probably never happen. Because while anything is possible, if I set my mind to it… I know I’d be lying to myself if I said “i can do it.”

Your Thoughts?

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