Today, The Emmy Awards were announced featuring the best in television. Surprisingly, “The Walking Dead” was NOT nominated for anything, despite being the most prolific thing at Comic-Con this year, this side of “Doctor Who”. But what about the shows that got cancelled? What are we going to do with all these episodes of “Rob” on CBS?
The Solution: AWARDS SHOW!
By now, you’ve heard of “The Razzies” which awards THE WORST in movies, this year they gave Jack and Jill all the awards making it the best movie ever 2011. But, what we can’t offer raspberries – I think it’s trademarked. Instead, I went to my twitterverse, and my friend Eric came up with a fun idea – Because TV is considered “The Boob Tube”
THE GOLDEN BOOBY! That’s right “The Boobies” are the name of the award show, and we just need to find a craftsman that can make a statue of a booby and spraypaint it gold. Even if it means killing an endangered species, let’s do it!
You have “The Daytime Emmy’s” (which is my destination) You have “The Primetime Emmy’s” (which is overrated) and now you have THE BOOBIES!
And I even have the categories all figured out!
The Award given to the unfunniest Sitcom that’s intended to actually be funny. CBS tends to make one every year, NBC makes three, and FOX tries every season and it’s hilarious when they all crash and burn. Sometimes it’s the acting, other times it’s the terrible terrible writing.
The Award given to the cheesiest Drama on television. It’s a category given to action/detective shows as well. So in case they ever make another “CSI” it goes here too. Often times, it’s the premise that makes it the worse, other times it’s how generic. By the way, whatever happened to “The Event” on NBC?
The award granted to the worst competition/documentary series of the year. Could it be because it’s boring like “The Glass House” or delightfully fake like “The Wiener’s Circle” or perhaps it’s how borderline entrapment like “Bait Car”, I still can’t believe “Full Metal Jousting” exists.
I haven’t put a place for “Cooking Shows” or “Game Shows” or even “News Shows” because I figured they could all fit in the Worst Hosting category, because they are the people who make the show what they are. Look at what Steve Harvey did with Family Feud and how it worked. Then look at Jamie Kennedy on “Oh Sit!”, it’s not out yet, but look!
Worst Show Renewed
Somehow there’s a show where the ratings ended up being good enough that it warranted a second season. Completely out of nowhere, people ask “that’s still on the air?” and by the time the second season shows up, it gets cancelled. Additionally, this could also be known as “The Scrubs Memorial Award”, in case a show ended properly and ended up suffering another season.
Worst Syndicated Talk/Courtroom
Syndication is a huge market, normally you see a Talk Show or a Courtroom Show. Talk can be anything from your “Dr. Oz” to your “The View” to “Jerry Springer” or entertainment shows like “Extra”, and plus those courtroom shows like “Swift Justice”. What is Jenny Jones doing lately?
Worst Joke in Late Night
The joke that bombed so much this year that it warranted it’s own award. HEY DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS!
The award granted for the worst piece of advertisement delivered on television. It could be a Super Bowl commercial starring some person who won a singing talent show being terrible at acting, or it could be an obnoxious “Head On” ad, but either way – we are probably going to lose the endorsement for next year’s show.
Most Unfitting Episode of a Series
Every so often a “Very Special” episode is made that we remember. Not because of how memorable it was, but for how “what the fuck?” it was. That episode of Saved by the Bell with the drug addiction? The episode of House told through Cuddy? How about the episode of South Park where almost everything was World of Warcraft? It’s out of place in the Realm of the show, and I can’t wait for the cliche “Dungeons and Dragons” episode of Big Bang Theory to show up on television in the next two years.
and the infamous “Who Greenlighted This Sh**?” award!
Based on all of the “Upfronts” this year, we give an award to the worst idea on the list. My choice right now is Dane Cook’s “Next Caller”, but hey. I could be wrong, and that’s the point of this award, to prove the academy wrong.
I ran out of ideas for awards, and nominations and other ideas, so if you’re reading this – feel free to chip in.