Monthly Archives: May 2012

Cartoon Network “Brings Back” Toonami, Nerds Celebrate Worthless Thing

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On April Fools Day 2012, Adult Swim thought it would be hilarious if instead of making traditional adult swim plugs and bumps. They would make everything look like Toonami : Midnight Launch. This backfired as more people took wind in it’s return. Creating the campaign “#BringBackToonami” with just one goal – to get Steve Blum another voice role.

Well they delivered and it’s returning “May 26, 2012” according to a jpeg image. And now every anime nerd must be excited about this great return. The days of Hour-Long Hamtaro followed by Dragon Ball Z and Dragonball must be returning too, right? Wrong.

If anything, this new “Toonami” (Newnami sounds ridiculous, and was what I was thinking of calling it) will be nothing more than Adult Swim’s Saturday Action Line-up, just with a new name. Your Toonami Block, which you’re expecting will pride itself in Japanese Cartoons, will continue having two hours spent on American Dad and King of the Hill. Are you going to bitch about that next internet? Why don’t they replace it with Inuyasha/Death Note/FMA/Trigun or maybe even the same 6 episodes of FLCL for the one thousandth time.

Point is, it’s not going to be the “Nostalgic” Toonami, you were more than likely trying to redeem. Those memories are just that memories. There wasn’t a #BringBackCartoonCartoonFridays or #BringBackFoxKids or #BringBackSlimeTimeLive there was just #BringBackToonami and nothing rewarding is going to happen. Unless you want to see “Tom” return and give video games 8 out of 10s.

Toonami should have stayed dead, and instead Adult Swim (or Cartoon Network) should have created a new fancy block for our next generation to appreciate. Instead of pretending that just because we’re bringing back “Toonami”, we’re bringing back Gundam Wing and other animus. Although, I would appreciate the return of He-Man.

Until next time, Stay Gold. Bang.

EDIT: You could have replaced “Toonami” with a six hour block of “Toon Heads” and nothing would change regarding the ratings. #BringBackToonHeads

G4’s Downfall? What’s Gonna Happen?

Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn both have left G4 Offices… well okay as of this post, Kevin gave his two weeks notice. But still, it’s the end of “Attack of the Show” – The original hosts, Kevin Rose, Kevin Pereira, Sarah Lane and Brandon Moran – they are all gone!

This is Adam Sessler – he quit G4 a week ago, he’s still relevant in the gaming industry, and I was 9 when he was on television talking about video games for the first time. The only person left that you might remember is Morgan Webb.

I’m not saying I can do a better job than Kevin Pereira or Adam Sessler, but here’s why…

Now that Adam and Kevin have left the network, G4 can finally get rid of any instance of the former “Tech TV” or “G4” that people remember. They can finally make it the “4 Guys” channel they are trying so hard to become. G4 doesn’t have to cater to the “nerd trend” that’s such a hit (OMG DID YOU HEAR NERDIST SO FUNNY!), instead they can really flip the network on it’s head and get hot chicks to host these shows. I would not be surprised if Jessica Chobot and other Playboy Playmates end up hosting the show. Because that’s what “The Target Demos” want.

The 12-14 year olds who are on the G4TV Forums will finally enter that world of Adolescence, and learn to love women (or men if it’s DVDuesday) can be retained in this new direction. The people won’t leave, except for those who have actually decided to follow the careers of Adam and Kevin – and that would be a really sad life to live.

So in a way, you might finally say that G4 is at the decline, but you can also be an optimist who believes the network might have a new direction. That NBCUniversal/Comcast doesn’t have a need for you or your “DikDik” jokes. It’s trying to compete against the internet, and the strongest thing going for it is the G4TV.com website. Now if only they brought back G4tv.com…

So in conclusion, I can play video games and browse Reddit, hire me Comcast!

Late Night Blabber Fest!

Hello Internet, it’s everyone’s favorite internet talker-mocker person. Lately I’ve noticed that sending in Resumes and Applications for employment, that I simply don’t get calls back from people.

Now there might be three reasons as to why this is happening.

1. I already have a job.

I only had the one job growing up, and of course it’s in the family business. Hardly one in Entertainment/Media, but I digress. Why call somebody who has a job when people need one?

2. I am underqualified.

I haven’t graduated from college, I actually don’t have any honors or anything special about myself. And my list of skills are just as redundant as anyone else. Word/Excel/Final Cut and so on. I’m destined to fail before I even tried.

3. Employers found out I’m an internet asshole.

Every forum post, every tweet, all in the public eye. The good news employers – look at how much I improved my spelling and grammar over the last 10 years! Eventually I might get rid of that thing I do Where I Capitalize Every Word.

SO IF ALL ELSE FAILS – PLEASE ENJOY MY CAREER AS A “COMEDIAN”, EVEN IF I AM NOT A STAND-UP AND I DON’T REALLY HAVE FUNNY STORIES. I JUST DON’T SHUT UP.

(this applies to also hosting/radio jobs – come on Hollywood, give a job to me instead of seacrest)

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