Year In Review – October 2011

Oh watch out, this post is HAUNTED! It’s very SPOOOOKY! It’s October the time of year when children are wondering who to be for Halloween – The Kid from Bakugan, The Scream Guy or Charlie Sheen. Surprisingly, the answer was none of them, instead it was “Mario & Luigi”. Which shows how messed up this month really was.

OCTOBER 2011

We start off October with a look at the only relevant horror movie that came out this month, Paranormal Activity 3. If you love the cheap scares and the thoughts of ghosts slamming doors and moving furniture and then jumping into the frame. This movie is for you, it’s still a cheap budget, but that’s about all you can dwell on. The acting wasn’t even that good, and the camera effects looked easily fake.

But if you wanted to see a Live-Action “Rock Em Sock Em Robots” movie, that did not have the franchise, there was Real Steel, It was one part “Rocky”, one part “Computer That Wore Tennis Shoes”, and one part “Transformers”. But the major selling point, granted the only selling point was the fact that Hugh Jackman was the star of the movie. But this felt like a Blockbuster Action Movie that they did not want to put up in the summer months because it’ll conflict with Transformers.

And hey kids, there is a new “Collect Them All”, toy and video game clusterfluff for you to enjoy, Skylanders : Spyro’s Adventure. In Skylanders, you control magical monsters and dragons (That you bought at Toys R’ Us), and then you put them on a portal that connects with the Xbox 360 and you get to play some video games with the monsters. It’s amazing marketing at it’s finest. The DLC isn’t just DLC you buy online, you buy it at Target and other places that sells toys.

Somethings you have to JUST DANCE… with Dance Central 2. In Dance Central 2, you move with the Kinect in choreography that mimics dance routines from the past and present. This is the modern day “Darren’s Dance Grooves“, but instead of a VHS Tape, they invented a video game. And that ain’t no lie… bye, bye, bye.

Who is ready to play the modern day “cheap death” video game? With Dark Souls, you die, a lot. You die and die and die and die and die and die. Moving ever so closer to completing any level or mission that went through you. It’s “Trial and Error”, and that error happens more often than you think.

Hey look, it’s futuristic first person shooter with modern technology! This is Battlefield 3, and you shoot things and blow things up. That’s it. The best part about this game, and the franchise that people forget about is how destructible the environments really are. I am a big fan of the physics engine in video games, and Battlefield doesn’t just leave it at dead bodies, they put it on everything from vehicles, to buildings.

Batman : Arkham City might be the best video game based on a comic book to date. You are traveling around the world of Arkham City, (Not Gotham, mind you) and taking care of all of the Asylum escapees who are reeking havoc on the town. Open World Superhero video games aren’t anything new, Spider-man has done it for years. But Arkham City almost perfects it, where there isn’t any real down time in the game as their always is something going wrong in the city. The only complaints being BOO HOO MY DLC ISN’T AVAILABLE UNTIL I BEAT THE GAME ON A CERTAIN MODE. And that is some bullshit.

Hey who remembers Home Improvement? Well luckily ABC remade Home Improvement, with their new show Last Man Standing. In this wacky, zany, sitcom. Tim Allen plays a grandfather, after his daughter, a mere teenager, had a baby. The jokes are – he doesn’t know about the internet and that he wants to threaten everybody. As Tim Allen always says “I’ll put you on my Hate 5 Oh-Ho-Ho!”

That wasn’t enough “Man” for ABC to pick up, that they also created the new sitcom Man Up. The ongoing joke is that the main characters are man children because they are playing video games. Get it? They are adults playing video games, that are made for kids… It’s as bad as you think, and they’ve cancelled the show. It almost felt like they were trying to remake “The Guild”, but somehow couldn’t understand what made people watch that show in the first place.

Over in England, Derren Brown is back and mind-fucking as ever with his new specials entitled Derren Brown : The Experiments. On this series, Derren Brown fucks with people to an Nth Degree such as making someone assassinate Stephen Fry, or get someone to believe that they’ve murdered somebody when they haven’t. In this episode, Mob Mentality is explained through a new comedy game show where the crowd decides rather or not the target gets something good happen to them, or something unpleasant. And as the night progresses, it gets worse for the guy. This is one of those shows where you watch going “how deplorable, i would never do that” but then you re-evaluate yourself and go “yep, still would never do that.”

Then MTV decided to bring back one of their most popular shows, Beavis and Butt-head. Yes, the “episodes” of Beavis and Butt-head are still in vein to the original series, they still call each other bunghole and buttmunch. The only major changes to the show are that technology progressed so they have “the internet” now and that MTV no longer plays music videos that much. I know, it’s a major shock that MTV no longer plays music, but Beavis & Butthead do try and riff on pieces of music videos in between footage of other MTV shows including “Jersey Shore” and “True Life”. The problem with those segments is that it makes Beavis & Butthead seem “smarter” with their insults and phrasing than in the episodes. What began as “Ozzy Rules!” is now “Like, this guy is supposed to be a guido…” You wonder how does Butthead know what a “guido” is, which ruins any character traits of them being stupid.

Andy Rooney had his final rant on 60 Minutes in October. He became the stereotypical vlogger who is ranting about useless bullshit. Only difference being that he has his own Andy Rooney Game where you take the first sentence of his rant, and his closing sentence and you put it together to make some  magic. One month later, Andy Rooney passed away at the age of 92. It is not going to be the same with Andy Rooney, a television icon and legend. And the best “bitter old person” that television ever had. I’ll miss you, Andy!

And finally, another significant death happened with Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs was the innovator and the creative mind behind Apple Computers, and brilliant items including the iMac, the iPod, the iPhone, iTunes, iPad, and the iPippin. You might not like Apple Computers, you might be one of those people who go “Macs Suck” (but in reality, you can’t afford it), but you have to admit that Steve Jobs did leave a major mark in the history of technology. Smartphones, Personal Computers and MP3 Players have all been changed forever. He even made the term “apps” mainstream. But people should have known this was going to happen, the man had pancreatic cancer. He was an excellent salesman, and a real dick in “Pirates of Silicon Valley”.

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